tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54909222011-07-07T21:21:03.115-12:00rage,rage,rage (against the dying of the light)Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comBlogger331100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-26871444241668191482009-06-15T14:01:00.004-12:002009-06-15T14:37:17.095-12:00

Dad's been gone since 2003.  I had my brain aneurysm while he was dying in hospice in El Paso, my poor cranium unable to process his demise, his horrible illness of Alzheimers. He asked us to pull the plug long before he became non compos mentis, and he died slowly in the searing desert heat, with the nurses pushing tranquillizer suppositories on my sister and me, the tacit understanding being if

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-31942293133881765522008-07-28T01:32:00.003-12:002008-12-08T10:09:16.996-12:00

In the 1960's and 1970's if you went to Shea Stadium towatch Joe Namath play football with the Jets on a sub-zero Sunday morning, you heard Phil Whelan belt out the Star Spangled Banner. Bassistand vocalist with the Bob Cleveland Orchestra, Philsat on the 50 yard line with 16 other members of theband, and played and sang opening ceremonies and halftime entertainment. Raised in Ridgewood,

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-9570350646828476292007-04-22T01:07:00.000-12:002008-12-08T10:09:17.079-12:00

Yesterday was perfect. Gorgeous. 75 degrees. I called my cousin Linda, who is out in Lindenhurst, Long Island. She's got cancer, and is back again, living in the house where she grew up, with her 18 year old son, Patrick, and her father, my Uncle Davie. I asked if I could come out to see her, and she said she wouldn't mind the company. I'm glad she was hanging loose, because the last couple

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1149859507484034012006-06-09T01:01:00.000-12:002006-06-09T01:25:07.526-12:00

Drove my son to the ferry this morning, like I do most days when I'm not working. His commute is about 3 hours a day, so I try to shorten the event when I can..my attempt at being a sort of suburban mom..now that I'm the proud owner of an 8 year old car, given to me by my late step mom....En route, da Kid gave me the directive to call Avis immediately (his godfather) to organize money to be sent

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1147091417764795652006-05-08T00:28:00.000-12:002006-05-08T00:30:18.916-12:00

CBGB = Country, Bluegrass & Blues = the original premise of the club dreamed up by Hilly Kristal, the former folk singer guy who opened a joint on the Bowery. Unbeknownst to him..a new form came to roost within, punk or new wave or whatever the hell you call it..a sonic movement as powerful as abstract expressionism or cubism ..but Hilly was cool enough to go with the flow, and not chase

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1146309557956479982006-04-28T23:17:00.000-12:002006-04-28T23:51:12.526-12:00

Was it Bill Maher who said that prayer doesn't work? A confirmed atheist, he tries to prove the lack of a higher consciousness.He recently referred to a scientific study that said prayer doesn't work. I guess they prayed 100 times, and measured the dismal results. I felt like yelling back at the screen... ( I feel that way often, hopeless, helpless, insignificantly yelling at the tube, when

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1140795203535128722006-02-24T03:23:00.000-12:002006-02-24T03:33:23.546-12:00

I have been skuffling. Borrowing money from friends, to augment my paultry bookings and slender hiring as a substitute teacher. $300 from Gail, $40 from Annie, $200 from Mark...waiting til June when I start a full time program, waiting til May when the money (which was originally coming in March) from Bev will come. I have never been so poor, well not since I was 17 and living on $20 on the

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1140711395874810952006-02-23T04:10:00.000-12:002006-02-23T04:16:35.890-12:00

I don't live in a project, thank you very much, but a 100 year old shotgun shack duplex in a po' folks neighborhood..complete with cemented up chimneys and gaslight fixtures...even a new bullet hole in my son's bedroom window, courtesy a Blood or a Cryp or drunken Vietnam era Vet...Two times I've had helicopters flying over and cop cars surrounding my house..(seems that the break in my fence

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1139272816166927282006-02-06T12:19:00.000-12:002006-02-06T12:40:16.240-12:00

I stopped myself from buying a Santa Barbara candle at the Western Beef, an ostensibly Christian owned, poorly managed food store on Staten Island. I say poorly managed, but I must add poorly designed. Somehow the checkout lanes are not made wide enough to accomodate a human being and a shopping cart, so one must stand in front of the cart or behind, to put the food on the conveyer belt. Since

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1139259762499968962006-02-06T08:40:00.000-12:002006-04-23T13:42:10.533-12:00

Oprah had that guy on who lied about being in a rehab, and his life, and made a zillion dollars. I thought if i were to tell the truth, or if a hundred of people I know in AA were to tell their stories on paper, they would be infinitely more powerful than that hustler dope fiend liar. I could tell my story. I've decided to. Only how? Where's the beginning? Where's the imput point? Do I go

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1136260609512887902006-01-02T15:39:00.000-12:002006-01-02T16:31:40.043-12:00

I dont know what that Irish lunatic Oreilly is grousing about. We are still living in Christendom, pretty much. If Christianity is not the state religion, it certainly has a large influence on the collective unconscious..Our sense of right and wrong, our laws, our sense of redemption, rehabs, starting over, re-inventing ourselves...these have been developed from a decidedly Christian mindset.

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1135610941537297192005-12-26T02:43:00.000-12:002005-12-26T03:29:01.580-12:00

I wasn't ready for this one, really. This was the other shoe falling. My papa died, and then his girlfriend, 2 years later. Bev took to her bed after Phil (my dad) was taken from her home, shaky with palsy, anger and Alzheimers. From playing tennis twice a week and singing with her chorus, she went in her bed. I suffered an aneruysm when he died, and Bev sent money to keep me floating. After

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1132977002652355952005-11-25T15:40:00.000-12:002005-11-25T15:50:02.663-12:00

Dear old dad..I'm still processing his death, his life..I see him as a young 27 year old man, standing by the fence talking to a neighbor..my son and i went to maryland to visit cousins..for thanksgiving..hours and hours of traffic, followed by a lost credit card, short money, a wonderful day followed by a rushed hair cut for me and the kid at aforementioned cousin's salon..i look like joan of

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1122912999031629282005-08-01T04:11:00.000-12:002005-08-01T04:16:39.040-12:00

Why do I do fundraisers? I'm not very good at it, not very corporate, but every little bit helps. I'm doing a fundraiser for Norman Siegel, who defends 9/11 families, bicyclists protesting the Iraq war, dancers arrested for dancing in a bar to the jukebox (thanks to recent administrations ie Guiliani, we're calling NYC "NO Fun City". Anyway I'm emailing and emailing, I don't have it down, and

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1111021745736671862005-03-16T13:08:00.000-12:002005-03-16T13:09:05.740-12:00

Editorial (universal health care)Hi, My name is Joy Ryder. I’m a rock & roll singer. I want to know if you know this one:Question : What do you call a guitar player with no girlfriend? Give up?What do you call a guitar player with no girlfriend? Homeless!You see, most of us musicians live a rough life. Only the 70 odd stars of MTV live the life of the rich and famous. The other 99.99

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1110855471976296502005-03-14T14:17:00.001-12:002005-03-14T14:57:52.016-12:00

Today I'm on unemployment after my company was bankrupted by the last owner, a former Arthur Anderson Accountant. I stayed with the company for 4 years, thru 4 different ownerships. They all were idiots...None of them listened to us...the sales people had ideas, but people are so happy to be pashas, they don't know how to listen to the rank and file. The losers don't, at least. My company went

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1110855452066249502005-03-14T14:17:00.000-12:002005-03-14T14:57:32.083-12:00

Today I'm on unemployment after my company was bankrupted by the last owner, a former Arthur Anderson Accountant. I stayed with the company for 4 years, thru 4 different ownerships. They all were idiots...None of them listened to us...the sales people had ideas, but people are so happy to be pashas, they don't know how to listen to the rank and file. The losers don't, at least. My company went

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1110127483738773832005-03-06T04:20:00.000-12:002005-03-06T04:44:43.743-12:00

Hi Donna, When the summer comes here on Staten Island and the Queen Anne's Lace is in bloom and the fireflies are out, and the smell of mulberry is in the air, I think of us and our summers at Greenwood Lake. I hear the icecream truck, and feel the stickyness of oilcloth tablecloth on my forearms, as i drink a cup of sweet coffee with condensed milk and sugar at the kitchen table, reading Ann

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1110125986704750932005-03-06T04:15:00.000-12:002005-03-06T04:19:46.720-12:00

WORLD PEACE AND THE HOUSE (of Representatives) After my father’s death and my subsequent surgery for a brain aneurysm, I needed to rethink my life. Where was I going? Why was I still living from this aneurysm, when others simply died? Friends said the Lord had spared me to take care of my teenaged son. This made sense. But other kids have been left without parents. What was so special

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1110125547266322512005-03-06T04:10:00.000-12:002005-03-06T04:12:27.270-12:00

I saw Jesus at the Staten Island Ferry terminal., right near Saint Elisabeth Seton's birthplace. It's a magical place, and I've had many mystical experiences there. Maybe because of Seton's home being right across the street from the ferry, or because my great grandfather used to preach near there, at the bottom of Cherry Street, after nearly getting his head shot off in the Civil War, I don't

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1110125243257403462005-03-06T04:04:00.000-12:002005-03-06T04:07:23.256-12:00

You came into this world seriouscovered in blood an astronaut fromouter space (well, inner space)You were pretty tired from the trip.Obviously a noble being from a more civilized planetYou looked at me and everyone elsesternlyas if we were a pack of idiotsYou came into this worldwith the latest wordSpeaking in a strange new tongueWith a message from the Kingand we were there to translate.

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1110124949865226062005-03-06T04:02:00.000-12:002005-03-06T04:02:29.866-12:00

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE SPAULDING GRAYI JUST WANT TO THROW MY LIFE AWAYOFF THE FERRYINTO THE DEEPBUT THERE ARE MILES TO GO BEFORE I SLEEPTHE KID TO RAISEMY HEALTHS A WRECKA STONE OF BILLS AROUND MY NECKSO I MUST LIVE ANOTHER DAYAND NOT OPT OUT, LIKE SPAULDING GRAYSOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE SPAULDING GRAYI WANT TO THROW MY LIFE AWAYOFF THE FERRY INTO THE DEEPWITH CANS AND FISHES WOULD I SLEEP(there are

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1107209755841144282005-01-31T10:10:00.000-12:002005-01-31T10:15:55.840-12:00

The company i was working for finally folded. I was working at a small weekly classified ads paper, with a nice little website, real cute..only craigslist blew into town, and clipped our wings. the upshot is that I am now getting unemployment and looking for work..how odd..my son, 15, fears that we'll be thrown in the street. i hope not. I've finished a musical, and have come up with a bunch

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1103082993149188862004-12-14T23:00:00.000-12:002004-12-14T15:56:33.150-12:00

Could be a byproduct of Hepatitis C, my life defying illness, or just poverty, or my perception that the mass manipulation of voting machines has changed this republic into a totalitarian regime..the voting machines becoming like those toy one armed slot machines for kids...pull on the arm and the wheels go round and round, producing nothing. The ability of the state to manipulate on this level

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1102044230085029962004-12-02T22:59:00.000-12:002004-12-02T15:23:50.086-12:00

I visited Bev for a few days. Bev and my Dad lived together for 22 years after my mother died. I suspect they had had an affair before my mother died, too, but that was part of my parent's problem. My dad slept around and my mother drank to dull the pain. I used to beg her to leave him, but she toughed it out until she died of Emphasymea at aged 50. My sister dislikes Bev because she was one

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1086985791855633612004-06-11T08:22:00.000-12:002004-12-02T15:35:51.610-12:00

My Dad wasn't a huge fan of Ronald Reagan, but I think he did admire that a B movie actor became the president of the United States. He was a bit bitter that the guys that got ahead in Hollywood, Reagan, Cary Grant, John Wayne, never served overseas but made major careers PLAYING at being WAR HEROS, while people like Glenn Miller died in the BIG WAR. Like most of the greatest generation, WW2

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1083285454022025462004-04-29T12:22:00.000-12:002004-04-29T12:45:37.733-12:00

I was only getting squigglies when I typed, but then a co-worker suggested going thru netscape, to give me more leverage. lo and behold, i'm typing away. the good thing about working at a day job is that i get to share memes with people..learn new techniques...get new ideas..I've learned really practical ideas from co-workers like this one: concepts like conservative, liberal republican democrat

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1077056167223408742004-02-17T10:16:00.000-12:002004-02-17T10:18:01.623-12:00

OKay then...buried dad and then went to the doctor, only to find out the 3rd nerve palsy was an aneuyrysm..see pic at www.alexkayser.com/J and click on the pic..my lovely post op portrait. I still see double..I guess G-d wanted me around for a while, to take care of the kid and to work for world peace..So everyone, STOP FIGHTING!!! Joyous

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1058232004959780682003-07-14T13:20:00.000-12:002003-07-14T13:20:04.980-12:00

Dad died. July 11th at Midnight. My sister called me in NY July 1st to say that he was dying. I went to El Paso, and they had him in the house, hooked up to oxygen. My sister, her husband and I all slept in his room, trying to comfort him..he could speak a little in the first days, but then he just coma'ed out..I've had a non stop headache since the beginning of this..and my eye became

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1055959410057425222003-06-18T06:03:00.000-12:002003-06-18T06:03:30.020-12:00

One year of dealing with Dad's illness..We moved him to El Paso from Ft. Lauderdale 6 months ago in a huge rent a car, me, my 14 yr old son, and my sister, when his long time companion (22yrs) couldn't care for him..shades of William Faulker and "as I lay dying"...got to El Paso and my sis lost it, with his 24 hour a day hallucinating and failure to eat..they put him in the nursing home 5

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1055959021999380302003-06-18T05:57:00.000-12:002003-06-18T05:57:01.880-12:00

More notes from my sister..Went at dinner time tuesday. Dad was in the big room seated for dinner because the east wing floor was being waxed. He was just beginning to dig into his meal when I got there. He looked good...I sat with him, he introduced me to the guy next to him (correctly as his daughter)..he ate well, I only had to help him a bit. Much better than Sunday. His butt gets

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1055958831146972692003-06-18T05:53:00.000-12:002003-06-18T05:53:51.040-12:00

After putting dad to bed I went to see Peter because I hadn't seen him in the dining room and I knew he hadn't been feeling up to par as of late....They told me he had taken a turn and they put him in the hospital......soooooooo.... off I went to the hospital. He's in Providence (the nice hospital). Poor baby was miserable. I asked him how he felt and he said "miserable" I said "poor baby"

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5490922.post-1055958743371953442003-06-18T05:52:00.000-12:002003-06-18T05:52:23.260-12:00

Letter from my Sister in Texas ....called hospice for info. yesterday on the advice of the people on the message board. They said hospice would be very helpful. A nurse at the home said dad would be an eligable candidate for hospice care in the home as well as when the time came to bring him home to die. This I had not known. I will begin the process of getting him hooked up with hospice

Joy Ryderhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13127342211804238481noreply@blogger.com